Most of these tips are commons sense but it may still be worth your while reading the tips especially if you are new to chat.
This isn't abuse but is a common opening question that can be daunting especially to the first time chatter. You should not feel obliged to answer but you dont want to offend either. Here are a few possible replies:
- "When I get to know you better I might let you know."
- "I might tell you later"
- "These things are immaterial to me"
- "I only want to chat about - xyz - a/s/l is unimportant"
If someone persists in this line of questioning, ignore them and if necessary silence them (see below).
It is a sad fact of life that some men feel they have a right to taunt women. If you don't want this kind of attention choose a nickname that doesn't indicate whether you are male or female.
Name and Address
Never disclose your real name, home address, city or town, or phone number to people you meet in chat rooms, except to those you have known a while and feel really comfortable and safe with (even then be very careful). Never arrange to meet a stranger in person unless you are accompanied by a friend.
Women really can't be over protective here. Be especially hestitant to give out personal information to someone that won't give you their's first, and let you verify it. And you SHOULD verify it - call him/her at work and make sure they really works there!
Lies and more Lies
Sometimes you will get a spoofer filling the room with lies such as:
- I can see your email address - not true
- I know where you live - well not unless you or a "friend" has told them.
- Just by being in the room you can get a virus - nope.
- I am an FBI agent! - really and you suppose he is going to tell you this - in any case he can't find out anything about you other than what you tell
The email address that you use to login to Irish Chat is only available to us. Nobody else has access to it so the only way anyone will get it is if you or a friend give it to them!
Handling Unwanted Attention
We believe that the most effective way to deal with someone you don't want to talk to is to ignore them by using the silence feature but this should be a last resort. Here is a suggested route to follow if someone is annoying you:
- Make only occasional polite remarks to the person in the room, and concentrate on talking to a friend instead. Say less and less to the person until you are no longer saying anything.
- Refuse private chat. Politely tell the person you prefer to talk in the room only. Then ignore all other attempts to private message you.
- If this hasn't worked tell them, politely, that you will use the "silence" feature if they persist (the word "slash" sounds a little agressive).
- If you have failed to put them off now use the "silence" feature.
Note - you might be put off by all this talk about being polite but why bring yourself down to the level of the person who is annoying you?
Handling Compulsive Harassers
What if the person that has been giving you problems there repeatedly? Here is a suggestion:
- Use the silence feature immediately - DO NOT
It's very tempting to say something sarcastic, rude, wounding or even polite, to the person that is annoying you, but that can start you on a course of being harassed for months. Compulsive harassers like the game of knowing they are annoying you. They are counting on the shock value of their obscene remarks to upset you. Also, they want to control you. They can't if you DON'T RESPOND!.
- Control your anger. Don't give the harasser the upper hand by letting them "push your buttons". Leave the room if you have to.
Still Being Harassed?
First of all, DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF! You are NOT at fault here. Just because you talked to someone, or like to chat in Irish Chat, does not make you responsible for someone else's sick mind and need to shock, control, humiliate, and demean. Victims are NOT to be blamed! The harasser, abuser, or cyberstalker is solely responsible for his/her own actions!
Screen Shot Keystrokes
It isn't possible to save a conversation from the chat room but you can make periodic screenshots. This could be useful for capturing the odd email address or piece of a conversation.
Mac Screen Shot Keystrokes
Command (or Apple) + Shift + 3. saves entire screen on hard drive on your desk top.
Command (or Apple) + Shift + 4. Your pointer will turn into a crosshair, and you can then drag to select the part of the screen you'd like to capture.
PC Screen Shot Keystrokes
To capture the whole screen, press Control + Print Screen. This will save the screen to the Clipboard, and then you can paste it into an application.
To capture only the frontmost window, press Control+Alt+Print Screen. Again, it goes to the Clipboard.